I Built an Engine

So, I saw this model build-it-yourself engine last Christmas and figured maybe this was a way of better understanding how my car worked, plus the chance to just build a goddamn engine. It even had a starter motor so it could fire up like a proper engine. Buying it was no idle whim. As I child I wanted to be an engineer, but didn’t seem to have any real aptitiude for it – maybe I just didn’t try hard enough? This was an opportunity to find out.

It sat on the shelf until now glaring at me while the rest of the world got in the way, but now is the time.

There were lots of pieces and I was worried about getting them muddled up, so I put sticky labels on them all.

I managed to put lots of bits together and when I’d finished they turned other bits. Just like in a car!

When it was all put together, I flicked the switch so I’d finally see the how hours of work could turn a load of plastic chunks into a fully functioning engine.

Nothing happened.

Not a spark.  I could turn the wheely thing, and that caused other gizmos to move, but the chugging and rumbling that the instruction book promised me didn’t happen. I tried wiggling some elements, removing others and putting them back, but still nothing.

I’m glad I did it though, now I know that my childhood ambition was bollocks all along and I did the right thing by becoming a gardener.

If anyone has any use for a piece of plastic shaped like an engine, let me know. It has parts that move!