Questions to Ponder part 3

Posted on by inkbiotic

So continuing the questions to get you thinking, as purloined from Imgur. Previous questions here and here. I wanted to be less cantankerous with these ones, but they are still a little patronising, and let’s face it I am cantankerous, so there’s only so much I can do to avoid that. I’d love to hear your answers also!

  1. Why are you, you?
  1. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
  1. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
  1. What are you most grateful for?
  1. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
  1. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
  1. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
  1. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset
  1. Does it really matter now?
  1. What is your happiest childhood memory?
  1. What makes it so special?

 

  1. Why are you, you?

A mixture of chance, effort and fuck ups.

  1. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I’ve done my best, although I’m often crap. I’m way better than I used to be, but then my friends are way better too. I could have done with some kind of rule book.

  1. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

I guess the second because it implies a rejection rather than circumstances beyond the friend’s control.

  1. What are you most grateful for?

My best friend. The ideas that fire up my head. Regaining my life after brain injury.

  1. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Lose the old memories, it would be heart-breaking, but I could make a new life. If I lost the ability to make new memories, then I wouldn’t be able to function in my current life, only to live in the past.

  1. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

I think our brains are wired to make us believe that we are forming Truths based on careful observation, but actually what we do is assume. Knowing that, I try to over-ride it, but I frequently fail. So, I guess what I’m saying is – we tend to think the answer to the question is no, but without realising, we act as if the answer is yes.

  1. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Yes. The brain injury and all the surrounding illness was a load of great fears bundled into one. Having my IQ halved and my ability to look after myself lost, seeing my life pass me by without being able to actually live it; I think these things were some of my greatest fears. Now that that is over, I still get a panic it will all happen again – a bad day of being too exhausted is frightening – but I’m also aware that I got through that, I was still living and doing what I could, so I try and focus on that optimism.

  1. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?

Yes, vaguely.

  1. Does it really matter now?

I appreciate there are things that I fret over that aren’t important and I should just ditch them, and that is important to remember. However, I don’t tend to get properly emotional unless something is really wrong, or my brain chemistry is out of wack, either way there isn’t much of an option.

  1. What is your happiest childhood memory?

Creating stories and magical lands with my friends.

  1. What makes it so special?

I got to create stories and magical lands with my friends.

Over to you folks…

24 thoughts on “Questions to Ponder part 3”

  2. You have put a lot of thought into your very honest answers. As today is a busy day I will do them later when I have more time to think about these questions. Kat

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  3. Yes, interesting answers, as always.

    26 i especially agree with. I watched a really interesting Ted Talk once about optical illusions, in which the guy ( can’t remember his name!) illustrated how our brain- out of all the stimulus it’s overloaded with constantly- picks out only the few details that it can make instant sense out of. ( i’m sure he described that process in more scientific sounding terms, but, you get what i mean). It demonstated how easily we can be led astray by our own brains, and it made me ponder how much “truth” -if any- we human beings are able to grasp. At the risk of being massively contradictory, this excellent Aldous Huxley quote resonates:

    “in so far as we are animals, our business is at all costs to survive. To make biological survival possible, Mind at Large has to be funneled through the reducing valve of the brain and nervous system. What comes out at the other end is a measly trickle of the kind of consciousness which will help us to stay alive on the surface of this particular planet.”

    I might have to come back to A the Q’s a bit later…but for now, i liked your answers, so had to at least say *something* 😉

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    1. Yes! It’s true our brains act like a massive filter, and have many ways of losing or blocking information. Aldous Huxley was a very interesting man, like him, so ta for the quote.
      I look forward to your answers later 🙂

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      2. Maybe if the human race moved further beyond the work-sleep-work-sleep routine, then we’d be able to figure it all out. I think this was supposed to be the advantage of machines – giving us more time- but now we use those to distract ourselves more completely. Unless that IS the amazing stuff – now I’m getting myself tangled up in my own argument. 😉

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      3. No, no, i agree with that. We’ve made our lives more convenient in some ways, but at the expense of our ( and our planet’s) health. This *convenience* has, i feel, enhanced some of our less desirable qualities, too.We want everything NOW, and throw a tanty when we have to wait for 5 minutes for something. We’re always in a rush! That’s what annoys me the most, i think. The fact that we can get things and do things quickly should, as you say, mean that we have more time on our hands. But all that seems to happen is more and more rushing around, filling the time with anything that will make us feel- or appear- busy; “busy” is the ultimate goal, it seems….many don’t seem to realise that “busy” isn’t the same as “productive”. It’s crazy. I saw a billboard ad recently about a university course, and basically it was to advertise the fact that you could “fasttrack” the course from 2 years into one. So basically : “Why do it thoroughly when you can just do it quickly!”. That sort of philosophy seems to drive mainstream western culture, and it frankly pisses me off. Anyhoo, pardon the mini-rant! But yes. I do think we are missing more and more all the time.

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      4. I love a good rant, and agree heartedly! Distraction is good, information is good, activity is good – but there needs to be a bit of time for reflection, otherwise you never get to process the things you’ve seen, or plan for the things you’re going to do. At least that’s what I tell myself when I spend an hour staring into space 😉

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      5. Exactly! We absolutely need down-time in order process, plan, think and make sense of things. Don’t worry; i too do a fair bit of space staring….and i always feel clearer headed for it! We need “fire gazing time”. Just a time to reflect, and not have to think about anything inparticular. In this age of sensory overload, i’d say it’s wise to allocate some time to it regularly!

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      7. It’s nice, innit. I forget where i first heard it, but it’s an apt description, i feel. When you’re done with the day’s hunting and gathering, it’s time to chill out and do some fire gazing!

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    1. I hadn’t really noticed they were getting deep, just blithely skipped on with answers, but yes, you have a point. I can’t remember with the next round, maybe they lighten up again.

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  5. 21. Why am I me? Mixture of genes and experience. The old Nature/Nurture thing.

    22. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I’ve tried to be a good friend. There when needed but giving others space. But I can’t say this has always worked as all relationships are different.

    23. Worse, a good friend moving away or losing touch with a nearby friend? I try to make an effort with country and overseas friends, so keep in touch with them, but emotional distance is a bigger barrier to friendship so it is probably worse.

    24. What am I most grateful for? My family and friends. Our lovely dogs. A good education.

    25. Memories, lose old or not make any new? I think that both these things would be equally bad. Short term memory loss would make it difficult to function and sometimes all you have left of people or a time in your life is the memory, so I would not want to lose these.

    26. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Depends upon the circumstances. There are some things that are obvious facts, but others that need to be questioned and investigated before you can either reject or accept them as the truth. I try not to take all things on face value these days.

    27. Has you greatest fear ever come true? Yes. It was a health scare which I’d rather not go into, but everything turned out well which is the main thing.

    28. Do I remember a time 5 years ago when I was extremely upset? Yes. But time and enjoyable, fulfilling activities have made me get over this period and now I feel that things often turn out for the best.

    29. Does it matter now? No. I’d put the whole thing down to experience and I have definitely learnt more about how to cope with difficult situations.

    30. What is your happiest childhood memory? Going to our grandparents home by a river. My sister and I had wonderful and imaginative times there with family and childhood friends.

    31. What makes it so special? We could do whatever we liked and there were lots of places to explore and create make believe stories and adventures.

    Kat

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  6. The questions are fine, not particularly deep for me. I love deep and I love this idea of sharing a questionaire. I agree that we filter and rewrite our own history to suit a current mode of thinking/feeling. We remember the negative more than the positive if we’re not mindful.

    The purest time for me was numbers 30 and 31. Making up stories and acting them out with friends, where I was the very unlikely leader, where we explored fields and streams, then secondary school snuffed it out. But I came back to this early, true ‘me’ many years later with a strong sense ‘rightness’ .

    Lovely post and thank you for sharing

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    1. I’m very glad you found your true you once again, many people never do. Thank you for your answers, I especially agree with the focussing on negative – that takes real concentration to stop. I don’t understand what you mean by ‘purest time for me was numbers 30 and 31.’ I thought you meant age at first, and it sounded like an unusual but delightful life for that age, but then I realised, no. Can you explain? Unless it is something too secret, of course. 🙂

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      1. I suppose you’re getting close to it in the latter part of your wondering. it was a time of no teenage angst or particular worries, great confidence, freedom, letting the imagination roam, lots of play, drawing and painting and lots of reading too – i just look back and think – yes, that was the real me – the creative me.
        I went through a mid life crisis/transition over 4 years ago which made me question myself more and let go of stuff (both activities and mindsets) which wasn’t working. I felt as if I was coming around full circle to the girl I used to be. I know it sounds fanciful, but that’s how I feel it. I came across a nice quote the other day. Yes, there are many I know! – but this is nice and short: ‘Grow through what you go through’ nad I think we have to do that. Cheers for now, and thanks for asking!

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