The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
Word of the day: Barbastelle – a hairy lipped bat
For anyone not keeping track of all my nonsense, myself and my three flatmates recently discovered that the landlady, Julie, has been paying us little visits while we were out.
Having made it clear with our rental contract that we can’t stop her, she’s started popping round every few evenings and using our flat like some kind of storage facility. So far we’ve acquired a broken toaster, a vacuum cleaner that smokes when you turn it on, a bag of plastic spoons and two packs of doilies. Then this evening, Jinjing and Hamoudi were in the kitchen making falafel and I was hanging about hoping to either get some leftovers or summon up the energy to go and get popcorn, when Julie showed up again. She poked her head round the door and said,
‘Ohhh, are you having a party? Alright for some.’ Then went back out into the hall. Hamoudi watched her through the slightly open door, and gave whispered updates to us as to what Julie was doing. Apparently she was checking the paintwork, looking in the toilet and then she took a pile of notebooks out of her back and put them up in the cupboard in the hallway. Thoughtfully she took out Hamoudi’s bicycle pump and my spare towel first, before adding the notebooks and putting a padlock on the cupboard. Then she left. Hamoudi has spent the evening in the hall with a paperclip and YouTube trying to work out how to pick the lock.
‘I just want to know what’s in those notebooks. I’ll bet it’s all information she’s collected about us.’
‘Why would she keep it here then?’
Hamoudi looked at me with ferocious wide-eyes, a man pushed to the edge, I’m not sure what by.
‘To taunt us!’ he said.