Finding weaponry

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Not a wildly exciting day today, but I found this cannon in the office garden. Maybe someone is preparing for that Covid Apocalypse. I will keep a close eye out for tanks and fighter planes, and keep you posted,

In more important news, I had a dream last night that one of our gardens was filled with hundreds of tiny sloths (you could fit a few in your hand). They were definitely sloths and had little sloth faces, but they were also a bit slimy and could run about very fast, so they weren’t your average sloth. I told my boss about the dream and suggested we should work out where you can buy them and she reluctantly agreed. So hopefully I’ll be working with slimy sloths soon.

Now I’m watching Tiger King (a few months late as always) and wondering if you’d have the same fuss over sloths as pets. To be clear, I think keeping tigers OR sloths as pets is wrong, but I still imagine sloth breeders being a bit more chill. I guess it’s difficult to be macho over a sloth.

36 thoughts on “Finding weaponry”

    1. I would go to a sloth petting zoo! I might try to move into one. I bet you the sloths wouldn’t even mind.
      Your spit balls have the accuracy, but my sneezes are like machine guns, spraying the room with virus!

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    1. And, as in huffish thought she stood,
      The Jabberwock Petra, with hands filled with cake,
      Came whiffling through the carefully manicured garden,
      And burbled as she came!

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      1. Actually, that’s just bad, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have written it. Shown up by the great phrase ‘Slimy sloths’

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      2. One two, one two, and through and through
        The secateurs went snicker-snack
        She had the roses to dead-head
        And a plastic canon at her back.

        You should definitely rewrite it… 🙂

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      3. No, YOU should (but not about me obviously) you’re doing it way better. When I was a teenager a friend of mine wrote a poem based on it, about a fight with the Jugglewits. It ended with one bedraggled Jugglewit, confused, bedraggled and broken. She reckoned it looked just like me!

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      4. Harsh. Alan Coren once write a piece about Carroll’s ‘original’ poem before the type-setters ‘messed it up’. Brilliant and not something I would dare to ‘challenge’

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      6. Alan Coren was just the greatest 1,000 word humourist that has ever lived! Sweeping? If you’re unfamiliar with him, try ‘Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks’ for a flavour of what he could do. I have been wracking my brain to remember the title of the actual piece about Jabberwocky but it went like this: Lewis Carroll is called to the office of the publisher because ‘Through the Looking Glass is two pages too short for the compositors, so he gives them a little poem called ‘January’ – ‘Twas chilly and the slimy roads, Did shine and shimmer in the rain, All misty were the bird’s abodes, And the cold grassy plain…’ The printers take it but refuse to let him proofread before publication due to time constraints and as the typrsetters are in a hurry to get to the pub, what appears is Jabberwocky. I’ve just found it – it’s called ‘Publish and be Diblgd’ If I could write like anyone, it would be him (unfortunately I can’t).

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      7. That does sound extremely great, thank you for describing it! I’m not sure I’ve ever read any Alan Coren, I can see now I’ve missed out there.
        I’ve added the Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks to a shopping basket, all I have to do now is get back into reading and clear my backlog of books – it’s getting silly now. Every chance I would have to read, I want to spend snoozing!

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      8. Nothing wrong with snoozing. Don’t normally recommend AC to people who will then compare me with him (knowing that I will come out of it very badly) I’ve wondered in the past whether it would be possible to have books printed onto micro dots which could be slipped into my eyelid so that I could read them whilst snoozing. I’m pretty sure that if you rest your head on a book while you sleep, it all slips in by osmosis. ‘Cause, it has been known for me to be wossname, wrong…

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      9. wossname! You use wossname! I’m a big fan of the word wossname! At the moment I keep falling into mini dozes while trying to do guided meditation. I assume that means that dream-me will so be happy and chilled and waking-me will become bitter and jealous. Would it be the same for books? Only your sleeping self will be well read?

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      13. I get that language evolves and that’s a good thing. But some words should be like listed buildings, they must be preserved. Like Wossname!

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  6. There’s apparently going to be another season of Tiger King AND a movie because this timeline is terrible and yet I still watched that ENTIRE train wreck *sigh* I feel like sloth breeding would possibly help sloths though? I mean I guess ethical tiger breeding like not for money/prestige would help if they were going to be reintroduced to the wild, but that is definitely not what’s happening in that show.

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  7. It’s a seriously addictive program, narcissists are always fascinating to watch (and for you it’s almost an obligation, you can check if there is any shame at all!)

    I know they have bred animals in captivity and then released them to the wild, but it can’t be easy. Maybe you’d have to think long term – release your sloths to a slightly controlled environment, but have no contact with their offspring and then the next generation after that could be wild. (hey, that’s a plan, right? All I need now is a million dollars and some sloths 🙂 )

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