Questions to Ponder – Final

Questions…yada yada…all very profound and thoughtful…tum te tum…really figured out some meaningful things all about mememe….ta-de-da-de-ta…be great to hear your answers too…dooby-dooby-doo…

  1. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
  2. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
  3. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
  4. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
  5. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
  6. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  7. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
  8. What do you love?
  9. Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
  10. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

 

My Answers

  1. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

My best friend. Family.

  1. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

I don’t think I want to be attractive, I see why it’s a nice idea and it would lead to opportunities, but I’m quite fond of my nonsense old face, and people who know me know it. As for famous, it would be useful, I might be able to make changes in the world – but realistically, I’m no better at fixing the problems of the world than anyone else, yet nothing gets fixed. And being famous looks fucking terrifying, like being in a car that’s skidding out of control while thousands of people look in at your stricken face and take photos. If I could trade those ten years for excellent health, constant energy, endless inspiration and maybe some money, then yep.

  1. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

No idea. ‘Truly living’ seems like one of those judgement phrases people come up with to put down others for living all wrong. Life is tough, a lot of it is dull and difficult. Most of us will never be heroes, kings, film stars or geniuses. However, our lives are still relevant; contain love, laughter, learning and delight. So however we choose to do it, we are truly living.

  1. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

As a spontaneous person who has in the past repeatedly leapt into situations without calculating anything, I’m always doing what I think is a good idea at the time and then regretting it afterwards. Therefore I’m in a good position to know: ON THE WHOLE, CALCULATING RISKS, REWARDS AND OUTCOMES IS QUITE A GOOD THING. I’m not saying it’s good to spend so long calculating that you never actually do anything, but a certain amount of planning and contemplation is ideal. It’s what I try to do now.

  1. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Making a mistake feels horrible. The most extreme mistakes I’ve made have led to the most brilliant outcomes, but I’ve had to wade through a lot of badness first, so much so I could never knowingly walk into those mistakes. The small mistakes often don’t lead to learning anyway. The number of times I’ve accidentally kicked my laptop across the floor, or forgotten to lock the car, or accidentally said something rude to my boss – every time I tell myself never again, but I still do it.

  1. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Be more antisocial. Wash my hair less.

  1. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I meditate, so I do this quite often. It’s a good thing to do though.

  1. What do you love?

People (both specific people and people in general), food, sleep, walking, writing, drawing, imagination, plants, studying. Not in that order.

  1. Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

Yup. Not saying I appreciate all those things everyday, but most days and most things.

  1. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I guess this is a: Your life is ending one minute at a time! Live everyday day as if it’s your last! Are you living enough right now? ARE you? type question, and I object to those. There are usually a few exciting things going on in my life (exciting to me, that is, pretty much nobody gets excited about the same things I do) but if life is constantly exciting, filled with new experiences all the time, one big hyperactive adventure, then the following things happen:

  • You get stressed and exhausted and it’s impossible to really reflect on anything, you’re too busy experiencing.
  • You need to keep upping the stakes, because your boredom threshhold shrinks.
  • You keep zipping about from one place to another, so it’s difficult to form lasting relationships and the ones you have are based in excitement which means they can end up being shallow.
  • You don’t get to properly focus on one thing. Studying, being successful in a career, raising a family, writing a book – any possible major achievement in life takes time, and involves many days of repetitious boredom. This isn’t negative.
  • Because you are constantly focusing on the next big event/exciting adventure, it means you don’t get to appreciate the good, small and meaningful things in your life. In fact it causes you to remove and dismiss them.
  • Life just isn’t like that, boredom is a part of life; telling people that boredom is bad doesn’t enable people to instantly live exciting lives, just to feel that their perfectly normal lives are inadequate – which is a fucking tragedy.

Now over to you, what do you all think?

 

 

31 thoughts on “Questions to Ponder – Final

  1. I shall wrangle some answers!

    41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

    Nobody. I’d spend it reflecting privately.

    42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

    Hell no. I’m happy to apply hard work to achieve fame (or maybe I’d settle for infamy). And I don’t mind the way I look. Being drop-dead gorgeous would have its down sides. I’m happy being plain old me.

    43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

    The former is a biological state, the latter is going to bed at the end of the day and not regretting wasted moments.

    44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

    You should always do what you know is right. You should only calculate risk vs. reward when considering doing something wrong.

    45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

    Maybe we’re afraid we won’t be forgiven if we make bad mistakes.

    46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

    Not much, I suspect. I’m not particularly bothered about the opinions of others, especially when those others are strangers. If you’d asked me this question at age 13, I might have come out with some very different answers.

    47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

    Every Monday – Thursday approx 5.30pm when, during my 2.5 mile trek from work to home, I hit the Hill of Doom. And every time I meditate.

    48. What do you love?

    Writing.

    49. Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

    Every time I update my blog is an expression of my love. That’s why I do it so often.

    50. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

    Are you kidding? I can barely remember what I did last week. I don’t need to remember the minutiae of every day. I don’t need to remember the highlights of every day. I just need to remember the eventful moments which pepper the days or weeks or years. Getting my dog. Putting my dog to sleep. Finishing my first novel. Submitting my first query. Riding my motorbike home for the first time. My first kiss, first sex, first drink of alcohol. That time I drove an Aston Martin DB9 around a race track. The places I’ve been to on holiday, and the truly great books I’ve read. How nervous I felt on my last martial arts grading. How excited I was when my horse riding instructor let me ride her dressage competition horse and complimented how well I rode her. My first game of Werewolf and my second game, which was even better. Finishing the whole Mass Effect Trilogy and that damned space-kid at the end.

    Of course, if I had an eidetic memory, I’d probably remember the minutiae too, but that’s not important to me.

    Thanks for the chance to answer questions, and for the insights in your own answers! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s a tricky question, eh? More subtle than a lot of them. Although the cantankerous hermit in me finds the idea of defiantly staying on your own, while everybody you know spontaneously dies quite funny 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, some wise thoughts there. I like your point about how if these questions were in a different order you’d give different answers – we are such complex creatures. I’m also quite impressed by your active lifestyle – gadding about on foot, horse and in car. I’m sorry about your dog though 😦

      Like

  2. I like your answers and agree with the boredom thing, especially in respect to having the time for the development of a healthy routine without constant distractions that stop you thinking and actually producing something worthwhile. My only problem with boredom is if it is a symptom of the creative doldrums and you find yourself repeating the same old things just to get things done. If this happens I usually try to work out some way to reinvigorate my work and get back that excitement that makes me want to continue. But I guess this is a different type of boredom and more about stimulating your imagination than going on a mad quest for excitement.

    Like

    1. There certainly needs to be a balance. I tend to have a daft fear of routine, so whenever I found myself in one I made drastic changes (move city, move country, change job). Then I had a realisation that doing that rendered me unable to properly finish anything, so I changed and now I try to embrace boredom a bit more – but you’re right, there still needs to be a limit.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. 42 is a silly one, are we all supposed to be so vapid? Maybe when I was younger it would have mattered, people seemed more inclined to judge me by my looks when I was young.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The same reason you answered them I would guess, because they are an entertaining way to ponder things 😛 It’s good to see life through someone else’s eyes occasionally, isn’t that what all fiction is? And you can learn as much from silliness as from great profundity.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 1) No one. I would meditate. Why? Because when I was 20, I was concerned what everyone was thinking of me. When I was 40, I convinced myself I didn’t care what people were thinking of me. But when I was 60, I realized no one was thinking of me at anytime at all. So I would simply meditate.
    2) Hell no!
    3) Still figuring this one out.
    4) Always.
    5) I’m not. Never have been.
    6) Nothing.
    7) Just now…since you mentioned it. I’m confident I’ll breathe so why listen? If I stop breathing, I won’t notice.
    8)All thing, to intensely.
    9) Yes. I thank my cat daily for being here and I recognize the consciousness as God.
    10) Yes. When I get published I will know that I persisted yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. And it would have been all worth it. And if I do not get published. It would have STILL been worth it. I no longer need an audience, likes, comments or shares. I believe I am finally transcending my ego.

     

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great answers, the sort I’d generally give, and so a validation of why I follow your blog. As for the questions, they’re sometimes frustrating, aren’t they? I’d be tempted to skip some they’re so obvious — though that’s probably revealing my impatient side …

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Nonsense old face…” What a fantastic description. I actually picked up Riddled With Senses because I knew there was a picture of you in the back of it (yes, I am a creepy stalker *shame*) to see if such a description stood up. I’m kind of old (not really, but I like to say it), and my perceptions of attractive have matured with me. You look intense, introspective, and if you’re about to ask “What the fuck are you doing?” I think it’s a perfect face for this crazy world and for an author.

    You’d think with all I’ve learned from my mistakes, I’d relish making them, but much like the mighty cat, I hate looking silly and feeling foolish. Though just today I was telling my coworker/supervisor that being wrong is actually good for people so long as you admit to your wrongness and accept what’s right. But that’s the problem isn’t it? In most arguments, people argue to prove themselves right rather than to learn anything.

    I loved these questions. I’m kind of sad that it’s at an end. I wish I’d noted down all of them so I could potentially answer them myself one day. I could do a day by day or something along those lines if I had the wherewithal to schedule it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heh, I really didn’t want that photo of me on the book, I hate photos of me, but I love your description, so that’s cheered me right up 🙂
      You’re absolutely right about arguments, over the years I’ve tried to adjust my thinking to the learning rather than winning approach, although my ego can get in the way (I too am like the mighty cat!)
      As for schedule, yours is already so full! There are many things I have put aside to do one day, perhaps when I get older and life empties out and slows down. I’m sure there will be more questions to ponder then 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If you able to realise and then admit you are wrong then you are better person than many (probably including me 😉 )
        I’m planning to play a lot of games and watch a lot of telly when I retire – for years whenever I see something I really want to watch/play but I don’t have time, I just tell myself: wait til I’m older, the time will come 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. ‘Truly living’ seems like one of those judgement phrases people come up with to put down others for living all wrong. —– nailed that and your conclusion – However, our lives are still relevant; contain love, laughter, learning and delight. So however we choose to do it, we are truly living. – seems to be that’s the essence 🙂

    “and involves many days of repetitious boredom. This isn’t negative. ….. telling people that boredom is bad doesn’t enable people to instantly live exciting lives, just to feel that their perfectly normal lives are inadequate – which is a fucking tragedy.”

    Yup …. let’s chase the rabbit that is on the wire and hope that we will eventually win it even if we don’t like the rabbit or even know why we’re at the starting line anyhow??? Sounds like a grand plan scheme 😉

    Great answers my friend – loved reading them through with you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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