Just to sum up what everyone has worked out about the advert since it seems that it did make some sense if you’re more knowledgeable about markets, children’s books and life than me.
Calmgrove – the bear is Paddington who was from darkest Peru and could talk. I suspect this is an invoke sweet things trick to mask their devilish intent.
Jasper Hoogendam – Winnie the Pooh was originally from Winniepeg, hence the name. Not in the ad, but still interesting.
Colin McQueen – in rugby the Lions have a coach from New Zealand (kiwi) and the cheeky chicken refers to ‘having a cheeky Nandos’. I have no idea what either has to do with banks.
Shaily Agrawal/ – pointed out that bear is a market term for someone who takes risks. I don’t really want my bank to take risks, because that’s what caused the economic crash last time. Maybe that’s the subliminal bit, they rename recklessness as ‘open mindedness’ and then throw in the bear.
I, after a foolishly long time, worked out that being shut on bank holidays is what banks do.
So to translate
Keep an open mind because being open minded has opened doors to Paddington Bear, who’s secretly a risk-taking banker; rugby coaches from New Zealand; and a cheeky Nandos. Now is not the time to batten down the hatches, it’s time to stay open, except when we’re shut. Because we are not an island, well we are, all the surrounding water makes that clear, but people can still visit, which is nice. And the world is big, and it has bears and lions, unlike the UK which only just got bears and has no lions to speak of.
inkbiotic 
Well alrighty then!
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Brilliant! You should make a career out of translating insurance policy T&C’s
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Thank you! Always good to know I’ve got a possible back up career. 👩🌾
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Back up career, my arse. It is your future. You would make them funny – and anyone that can do that should never have to do anything else, ever…
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Hey, you’d make a great agent! 😊
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I really wouldn’t… Mind you, what’s the going rate?
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Loadsamoney!
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OK – I can do it.
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😀
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Wow! You should be the sexy translator for the United Nations. At least the work is indoors with A/C.
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Ooh, like the Nelson Mandela sign language guy who was making it all up on stage? I could definitely do that! Sexy might be pushing it though 😛
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I forgot about that guy 😂 He confused everybody! You would do a better job than that. Next best job for you…comedy. You are on a roll today.
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🤡 Hooray! That guy was ace, he broke all the rules!
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Loved the translation! You really made it sound sensible (?)… Well at least with so many references to animals, they can open a small zoo! 😂
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Yeah! 😀 (and thank you! x)
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Glad you simplified the message, I was beginning to think it was a bit of intertextural metafiction designed to make us all feel intellectually inadequate and supremely grateful for any money they could squeeze out of us in overdraft payments. I’m clearly wrong and judged them too harshly.
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Yes, you should never judge banks too harshly, truly they are our friends when we’re in need. Hug a banker today! That’s my advice 🙂
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