What’s your unusual outrage-trigger? What will give you the wrath no matter how trivial?
Word of the day: Agowilt – sudden sickening and unnecessary fear
The hedgehog cake face is still in the fridge. It gives me a shock every time I open the door and it’s grinning up at me like something out of a horror film. Nobody wants to throw it away, because it’s food. Nobody wants to eat it because it’s a cute hedgehog. We are stuck with it forever.
Today’s work drama was the big boss wanting Mike to cut the grass on a 1 (the possible settings are 1-5, the lowest we go is 3.) Mike stomped into the smoking area red-faced and raging.
‘What is he thinking? The man is mad! Mad! I’ve never cut that fucking lawn on a one! I’ve been cutting this grass for thirty years, never on a one!’ He sat down, hunched over into his fury, tugging on his vape to calm himself. At that point Nobby (another boss, nobody knows what of, something to do with pavements) came storming around the corner.
‘Did that twat just ask you to cut the grass on a one?’
‘Yes!’ said Mike, fists balled, eyes popping.
‘What’s the matter with him? I worked on a golf course for ten years, you never cut on a one! He’s an idiot!’
‘You cut on a three,’ said Mike howling like a wounded animal, ‘everyone knows you cut on a three!’
‘He’s lost his mind,’ said Nobby.
‘He’s changing everything, this is the beginning of the end!’ said Mike.
It took a while for Mike to calm down, and then we compromised by cutting the grass on a two. Contrary to expectations, it was fine and looked quite nice.