Small note: this is one of three methods that I found worked for me last week, but they aren’t replacement for medication, therapy or living healthily, they are only in addition to those things.. They can’t cure depression, but notice the warning signs early enough and they may help stop it taking hold. There are plenty of excellent blogs and medical sites talking about depression and the various ways to fight it, but I haven’t seen these three methods (method one in yesterday’s blog, method three on Friday) anywhere else, so I’m writing them down in the hope they will be of use to someone. If they don’t work for you, please try not to get frustrated, we are all different, and depression is a complex illness.
Be nice to everyone.
On the whole I think I’m a fairly cheerful and friendly person, however, when that depression gremlin starts to tighten his grip on my soul, I become negative, whingy and I don’t smile. This is the depression keeping itself going, because by being unpleasant I cause people to be unpleasant back and then the gremlin convinces me that everyone is being horrible because they actually hate me, so I become even more unhappy and unpleasant, and the misery continues. Usually I tell myself at the time, that I physically can’t smile and be friendly, and there is definitely a level of depression when this is the case, but there are many points before that when it is difficult to be nice to people, but still possible. And very much worth it.
And I don’t think I’m the only one who acts this way, I’ve noticed many other people get tetchy and snappy when depressed, so that everyone around them also becomes tetchy and snappy; it’s self perpetuating. In order to stop this cycle, the best method is to be nice. Even to people you don’t like; especially to people you don’t like. This starts a new cycle, you’re nicer to people, so people are nicer to you, so you feel happier, so you feel more able to be nice.
Now if you are struggling, the depression gremlin is probably whispering to you that you shouldn’t have to be nice to people if they can’t be bothered to be nice to you; that you haven’t even the energy to be nice anyway; that you’re too hopeless to even try. However, he’s saying all that because he doesn’t want to create a situation that is likely to make you happy. Remember why you’re doing this: not for anyone else’s benefit, but for your own.
Note!: If there’s a danger that people might take advantage of your niceness, remember being nice doesn’t have to mean you do whatever anyone wants. You can still say no, just do it gently.
inkbiotic 
Being nice is something everyone benefits from and pay it forward, if you change , lift or just nudge someones mood by smiling and saying something nice… maybe they will feel better enough to pay it forward and before long your gift of a smile is doing a stellar job long after you think it has gone. Great post especially for people who are in an anxious or depressive time but all of the human race needs to practice this. 😇 have a super Wednesday.
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Pay it forward is definitely an excellent idea. Anything that makes the world a happier place. I love a comment that gets me thinking. Have lovely day too! 😀
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My partner, who like me also is on the autism spectrum, suffers particularly from black moods and paranoia. It often seems to come out of the blue, but you know it will come, and I find I get sucked into the depression willy-nilly, exacerbating it. Being nice to others is something we naturally both do, but when the downward spiral starts it’s hard to counter it. Your advice is good, certainly a rational response, and we have to consciously work our way towards re-aligning ourselves. Thanks for sharing.
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My pleasure. I hope you and your partner are able to help each other through the difficult times. Take care of yourselves 🙂
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This is something i always try to do anyway; manners and courtesy are important to me. I have to say though, on my down days, ( and even on my good days if i’;m honest :P) i try my best to avoid any unnecessary social interaction, as it’s just too draining. ( i doubt i’m alone there).
I haven’t perfected the art of being nice to people who are rude to me, though; i’m not sure i ever will, tbh, as i do have a rather fiery streak, unfortunately
But yes, in general, it does just feel better to be nice.There have been times where say, even though i’m feeling shy and awkward and awful, i’ve gone to the effort of complimenting someone on their amazing outfit or something, and the person’s reaction has been so lovely that it did really brighten my day a bit. It’s nice to be nice.
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Nice to be nice indeed 🙂 I also hide a bit when I’m getting down, if I don’t then I end up saying awful things by accident. I think I learned being nice to rude people while working in a bookshop – it felt like I took the power by manipulating their reaction – they had to be nice because I was being, not an easy trick to pull off though…
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Ah yes, that’s a bit of a requirement in retail, isn’t it…i’ve been in shops where the customer is being SO rude to the person behind the counter, and i really feel for them ( the person working there, not the customer..obviously..but my sentence isn’t very grammatically correct so..anyway, i’ll stop there..). I very much admire this skill! Can’t be easy…!
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I think some people just walk around with a rude mood, looking for someone to throw it at. I hope that people have thrown only good moods at you today 🙂
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As someone who has been through similar things I understand this on a deep level. I’ve nominated you for the blogger recognition award.
https://thecomicvault.wordpress.com/2017/01/25/blogger-recognition-award/
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Oh thank you very much! I’m sorry you’ve had similar problems, I hope you are getting the help and support you need, take care of yourself. (I shall look at the award thingy over the weekend, thanks again 🙂 )
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