Jack’s Facebook page

Posted on by inkbiotic

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To recap: A colleague found a strange letter from Jack who claimed he was being tortured by the Illuminati and was trying to find someone who could help him before his mind was destroyed. I don’t know yet if this is a joke, an art project, mental illness or the genuine description of the twisted shenanigans of a powerful elite. Previous post here

Yesterday I found Jack’s Facebook page and have been trawling through trying to find  clues. There is frustratingly little to work with. No photos or anything on his timeline. No profile photo. Although Jack’s likes include a survival school, the SAS Survival Guide, A Rosicrucian Order and a Facebook page about napping.

And he has Friends listed. On that list, I’ve found three members of the ‘growing abuse network’ including one (DW) who Jack calls the ‘main abuser … of Jack’s father.’

There is nothing remarkable on this terrible abuser’s page. DW is in his thirties, I’d guess, unremarkable. Photos of him hanging with the lads, with his mum, in Waterloo station, supporting Pride. There’s a photo of him with a wolf’s head, is that sinister? Him at a casino. He doesn’t look like a member of the Illuminati to me, the only time he looks posh enough is at a wedding.

However, he has no friends to show, which is odd isn’t it? He has a timeline that goes back to 2012 and I know he has Friends because Jack is one (which is odd in itself, why would Jack want an abuser as a Friend?)

JH, the second member of the ‘growing abuse network’ on Jack’s Friends list has a similarly innocuous page. Only personal posts are when he got married, and a cake (and unspectacular cake, not the kind the Illuminati would have). He likes the New Scientist and a band called Death and the Penguin. He’s an ordinary guy, again in 30s ish (I’m terrible at working out ages from a photo) no Friends to show, no sign of wealth, power or evil.

And finally on this list, FM. He has one photo on his timeline, of a street side cigarette stall (don’t know where) that has the same name as him. He has no Friends, no photos except for his profile photo which show him as a normal looking guy, maybe thirties, drinking from a mug.

THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL NORMAL. The only weirdness is their lack of listed Friends. Is that because of Jack? Did the letters cause them trouble? Or is this their ability to ‘hide’ that Jack talks about?

I need to cogitate, I think I have a theory forming, but I need a night to let it percolate. And if you have any theories, please share…

 

 

Weird find! Send help!

Posted on by inkbiotic

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“This letter is posted as I need to find someone who can report what is written below into freemasonry/Illuminati and get it stopped.”

Today, we were working in the garden outside a posh boys’ club. When it came to break time, Pola (our Polish agency worker) held up a sheet of typewritten paper and declared she’d found it wedged in the railing and was confused.

‘Is it a letter? What are they talking about? It doesn’t make any sense.’

I had a read. It was a letter, more specifically a desperate cry out to the world, stating that:

“A person called Jack [full name removed] is getting abused and having his brain and body destroyed by a growing unofficial Illuminati abuse network. They have wired him with all the Big man and old abuse technology.”

‘It reads like a schizophrenic,’ I said, ‘although there’s a contact number and email, so maybe it’s a joke.’

‘Stay away from it!’ declared my boss, firmly. ‘It sounds like trouble, just throw it away.’

“O.C. has subtly abused Jack with the technology since he was really young controlling him and messing him up and making him seem like a bad person while blocking him from Freemasonry and lying about him.”

Pola was about to chuck it, but I asked if I could have it. My boss gave me a what-is-wrong-with-you? stare. But unusual things are important, aren’t they? That’s where the secrets and stories are.

“The person who has caused this and caused this to happen is a person called O.C. [full name removed] who is a psychopath.”

So that’s it for now. Tomorrow, I shall post up the letter, with the various names blacked out. Sorry this is short and unhelpful, I didn’t sleep at all last night and I don’t have the nuggets necessary to research stuff and organise myself. Tomorrow, I promise. Until then, if any of you have come across something like this, please let me know.

Boy meets tiger

Posted on by inkbiotic

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A fabulous tiger lived in an oak
The more she saw the less she spoke
The less she spoke the more she heard
Why can’t we all be like that wise old bird?

Word of the day: zoanthropy – delusion that one is an animal

Somebody brought a small hyperactive boy onto this morning’s train. Now I know it can be unavoidable, and I felt sorry for the poor mum who looked worn ragged beyond sense, but a kid on the morning train is never a good idea. Everybody is grumpy, groggy and quiet as commuters try to cope with the start of a new day. Just think of the bad karma this kid is building up to work off later in life, all those angry thoughts heading in his direction as he squeals and thumps the seats. No child can properly understand how rush hour trains are, and this excitable boy was simply confused why no one wanted to play. He’d run up and down the aisle trying to start conversations, until finally he spotted fabulous woman. She was sitting opposite me, attention on her phone.

Today, along with the orange striped hair and claw rings, she was wearing orange eye shadow a stripy t-shirt. She looked especially fabulous. Excitable boy stopped and stared for a bit, then said,

‘Are you pretending to be a tiger?’

Fabulous woman gave him an intense glare, one that must have cut right through his hyperactivity and into his soul, and said,

‘No. I AM a tiger.’

Excitable boy slunk back to his seat and stayed quiet for the rest of the journey, occasionally looking over to where she sat. Not fearful, but in awe.

I waved my head about like a snake trying to catch her eye. Eventually she looked over and nodded. Then she stared out the window for the rest of the journey, constantly ready in case another desperate situation called for a tiger.

Betrayed! No nomophiliac!

Posted on by inkbiotic

 

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“I find people confusing.”

― Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Word of the day: Bionomics – study of organisms interacting in their environments

Ok, so today I was going to do it, I was going to talk to angry staring man. I spent the walk to the station psyching myself up, I had a shortlist of possible opening gambits. I was ready. But as I walked down the aisle, I saw him sitting bold as brass and looking at his phone!

He must have known that was a betrayal, we don’t look at our phones! That’s what everyone else does, but we’re the nomophiliacs! We’re different! But was looking at the screen very seriously, as if he was getting some news of a corporate takeover of the mafia. Or plans to replace the Queen with a clone. Definitely something with huge repercussions for society. So can I forgive him?

You may be thinking, If angry staring man is so important, why is he taking the train, wouldn’t he have a chauffeured car? But that’s because you’re wrong and don’t understand the ways of angry staring man.

Anyway, so I went and sat opposite fabulous woman. I tried to catch her eye again, but she had a careful not-catching-eye demeanour. Maybe she is a celebrity and she’s sick of plebs trying to talk to her. Maybe she’s a superhero and is worried if she gets distracted by petty conversations she won’t be ready for when the villain tries to flip the train into another dimension. There is a black stripe in the middle of her orange striped hair now. Tiger!

I haven’t given up yet, but I’m not good at this.

Bigger than you might think

Posted on by inkbiotic

 

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People are strange when you’re a stranger
Faces look ugly when you’re alone

People are Strange  – The Doors

Phrase of the day: el semaforo de medianoche (Venezuelan Spanish) a pushover, literally ‘a traffic light at midnight’

Today a set of traffic lights was found lying in the road on the estate at my work. Weirdly there was no obvious place in the street missing a traffic light and it didn’t look like sabotage. We tried to work out where it came from using the No right turn and Park closed features, but there were too many options and we’re too easily distracted. The current theory is that some workmen replaced this one with a new set, but then forgot to take this away. I was surprised at how huge it was.

On the train this morning, fabulous woman had dyed a streak in her hair orange and had rings shaped like claws. I think she’s turning into a tiger. I tried to catch her eye, see if I could start a conversation, but she was in the world of her phone screen and didn’t notice me.

Here’s another one of the traffic lights. My muddy foot bottom left for scale.

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So close to sinister secrets

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Phrase of the day: Today I am all tick and no tock (great phrase, courtesy of Colin McQueen)

The angry staring man was on the train chewing gum today. Angrily. Hands on the single crease down his trouser legs. I’ll bet he not only owns an iron, but a travel iron. I really want to talk to him. I feel like his life is so far away from anything I know and vice versa, we could strike up an exceptional partnership. He’d tell me the murky secrets of working in an International bank, arranging coups and investing in stock things for corporate murderers and I’d explain how to get a broken mower started or how to prune a climbing rose.

I know what you’re thinking: he sounds evil, why do you want to talk to him? Well, because I never meet evil people. Everybody I know and work with is lovely, thoughtful and completely without any kind of power or money. And I have this fascination with worlds I can’t enter, with locked doors and hidden truths, however terrible those truths might be. Angry Staring Man has access to those locked doors, I’m sure of it.

Fabulous woman was there too, with lots of huge rings, a skull, a bull, an opal, they look like knuckledusters. I keep expecting the other passengers on the train to start dressing like her. I’m always on the look out for someone else wearing a new pair of fluffy boots or a tiara of spikes. Fabulous woman should be on the television.

Release the cats!

Posted on by inkbiotic

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“I have lost my rhythm.
I can’t sleep.
I can’t eat.

I have been robbed of
my filth.”
― Charles Bukowski, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit

Word of  the day: Cryptadia – things to be kept hidden

I didn’t really sleep last night, by four thirty am I’d given up completely. By seven I was on a bus going to Victoria – turns out TFL decided to switch off transport for my town today and a bus going to Victoria was the only way out. However, it was time to release the cats.

 

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I ended up at Westminster Cathedral. Inside was praying and sermons, outside were small crowds of the homeless.

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Anyone who’s been following will know that I recently found a stone cat in the gardens at work, and then I made a few of my own. Today I spread them out around the Cathedral, glad it was early before people were about wondering what the fuck I was doing.

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Mission complete.

Pastimes of the urban cat-lady

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Collective nouns for cats: Clowder, Clutter, Pounce, Nuisance, Glorying, Glare

Some of you might remember I found a stone cat in the railing at work with a message on the back to contact Facebook and re-hide the cat. Well, I have now added a few new cats to the collection and I need to work out where to put them.

I’m thinking the story is that original cat has been missing for a week because she’s been playing around with other cats, and now she has a family of cats with her (her own babies? a cat cult? a Top Cat gang?) .

I’ve been trying to work out where to put them. Any ideas? It has to be somewhere secluded enough for me to not be noticed putting them out, but not so secluded no one finds them. Another park railing might be good or under a bush. Although neither is very inspired.

Oh and I found this important letter today, sadly no one was around to return it to, but I feel its message will resonate with younger sisters everywhere.

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Text:

Dear older sister

you are mean

your yonger sister

Stones and aliens, some answers and speculations

Posted on by inkbiotic

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‘I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’

Michelangelo

Word of the day: Dealate – insect divested of its wings

One mystery is solved! The encyclopedia of all important knowledge, Calmgrove, knew why buildings in the UK have so many stone babies and small children scattered around them. Here is his brilliant explanation.

‘Fat winged babies: these are called putti, Italian for ‘male children’. They were originally a pagan figure, a representation of Aphrodite’s child Eros, better known to us as Cupid, but substituted for cherubs in Christian iconography. Cherubs themselves derive from Hebrew cherubim, fearsome angelic beings but over time tamed down to podgy infants with ridiculously inadequate wings.
As to the St Paul’s putti, I suspect some of them are a reflection of London’s poor — the orphans, beggars, climbing boys, young pedlars — a reproach to passers-by and an encouragement to engage in some charitable work.’
I love the idea of pudgy infants with only vestigial wings so that they can no longer fly, dodo angels.
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The alien space tank on the roof of a building has not been so clearly explained. An air conditioning unit (thank you Boo) and overhead Gantry Crane (thank you Darnell) are two excellent suggestions. I’m not going to spin this into a drama, but all I’m saying is, keep an eye out for inexplicable alien space tanks appearing on top of buildings in your town.

London’s many stone babies

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Somehow, Hamoudi has now got Jinjing into the drumming. This morning they were emptying out all the kitchen cupboards trying to find makeshift maracas (rice in tupperware) drums of different sounds (buckets, saucepans and the bin) and cymbals (they hadn’t figured this one out, but mugs, metal spoons and a frying pan hanging on the wall were all possible candidates.)

This led to Neville being annoyed and slamming doors, playing his music loudly (Miley Cyrus???) and singing.

So I ran off to central London.

Wasn’t sure where I was going, but ended up at Bank, first spotting this weird doodah on top of a building. Couldn’t get any closer to work out what it is. A machine anteater? A caterpillar tank? An alien invasion happening very slowly – like Tripods, but not tripod shaped? Any ideas?

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I know this doesn’t help much. But, what the fuck?

Anyway, then St Paul’s appeared.

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One thing I love about London is there is no uniformity to the buildings. Shiny new chrome can be next to a dome over 1,400 years old.

St Paul’s, like many English buildings, is filled with statues of toddlers and babies, which suddenly occurred to me is a bit weird.

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Especially when so many don’t look very happy.

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The carvings below were especially disturbing to me, since they seem to show two winged babies being whispered to by evil ghost babies.

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Look!

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I know some of you (Calmgrove?) are knowledgeable about old buildings, so maybe someone can tell me a reason.

The din had calmed down by the time I got home. Hamoudi had a plan about going busking with their makeshift drum kit. I suggested they got Neville to sing with them and he was quite enthusiastic. Sorry London.