A wise aspiration for us ALL

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Quite a few politicians at the moment seem to be making the leap from self-interested-and-incompetent to fucking-despotic. So AI has come up with a great ambition to aim for.

Word of the day: Barbarocracy – government by barbarians

I’ve been a bit confused about how our painters have been painting the house. They’ve got scaffolding up which is attached to the wall, covering small sections of it. It also rests on the steps that they’re painting a nice cheery red. But how can they paint under/behind the scaffolding? Will they do those bits after?

No sign of Brennan, the sad walking man. It’s been days now.

The unexpected dangers of painting

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Artificial Inspiration gave me nice poster today! I feel all validated.

A couple of friendly painters put up scaffolding outside my house yesterday. It’s odd, because my house isn’t big, I’m sure a ladder would have been fine, but maybe it’s safer this way. I offered tea, but they didn’t want it.

Then today they were burning off the old paint from the side of the house with a blow torch. I’ve not heard of this method before, is it normal? Anyway, I’d been in about an hour when the doorbell rang. One of the friendly painters was at the door with a sheepish grin hiding behind his curly beard.

‘Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, but I just need to have a look at your window from the inside. You see, I think it’s on fire.’ He didn’t seem in a huge rush, so we trundled up to my flat chatting about the patchy weather.

He was right, it was on fire. Wisps of smoke were wafting across the lounge. Apparently a bit of fluff inside the window had caught alight. I got him a glass of water to put it out. He poured the water over the sill, thanked me politely and went back outside to pick up his blow torch. He still didn’t want a cup of tea.

Word of the day (one of the finest ever): ucalegon – neighbour whose house is on fire.

I’ve never been able to use this word in real life, but today I’m proud to have given my neighbour the opportunity.

 

Be a boy!

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Thought I’d try with the artificial inspiration again, and I got one for all the lovely guys out there, I hope this wisdom can make your day.

Unfortunately the one I got a while ago for women isn’t quite so chirpy.

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Still no sign of Brennan.

“I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.”

 

AI has become kind of threatening

Posted on by inkbiotic

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I don’t think the Artificial Inspiration likes me very much anymore. I’ve been watching Jessica Jones recently, and this has a Kilgrave vibe to it.

HAL 9000: Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?

Word of the day: theologaster – petty or shallow theologian

Angry strangers

Posted on by inkbiotic

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A woman on the tube today had a high vis vest on, she wasn’t acting oddly at all, just standing by the window at the end of the carriage looking out so that her back was turned towards me. Written in huge letters across the back of the high vis was

I’m straight, get it? Yes, I’m a woman and an engineer so keep your prejudices to yourself. Even in a high vis I’m straight.

Then on the front

Straight hetero engineer

I’m undecided what I think of this. On the one hand I’m sympathetic to the hassle women get for working in what are traditionally men’s roles, because I’ve had plenty over the years. It isn’t upsetting, but it’s irritating and it wears you down. On the other, writing it in huge letters on your clothes is somewhat stroppy and attention seeking, since 99% of people wouldn’t give a crap either way, and the only reason people were staring at her was because they were trying to work out what her high-vis said. On the other hand (I have three hands now) what’s the stress about being gay or straight? Does it matter if someone assumes she’s gay? On the other hand (now I have four hands, I’m a mutant!) I don’t know the circumstances surrounding this, maybe she didn’t even write the words herself.

Any other hands people can help me with?

Word of the day: paralipsis – fixing attention subject by pretending to neglect it

More AI rules for life

Posted on by inkbiotic

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“Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.”
― Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Word of the day: Galeanthropy – belief that one is a cat

Today I saw a kestrel. That’s it.

United in doom!

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Does anyone think of themselves as a normie? I appreciate there are degrees of oddness, but surely we’re all a least bit strange.

“Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun”

Mr Burns  – The Simpsons

Word of the day: teratology – study of monsters, freaks, abnormal growths or malformations

 

Artificial Inspiration glimpse of the future

Posted on by inkbiotic

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Whenever I find myself floundering and unsure an AI generated piece of wisdom provides the pick-me-up I need. Now I can open my mind to welcome my simian malevolence, for enlightenment takes many forms.

 “In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.”

– Miguel de Cervantes

Word of the day: Demonosopher – one who is inspired by a demon or devil